So I'm putting a book on parapsychology into my cart on amazon.ca today, with my mind not at all in the gutter ... and the "you may also be interested in" page which comes up afterwards includes Michael Moore's Stupid White People ... and this book.

Yes, there's a companion one for cunning linguists, too.

"Women are like golf courses," writes sex educator Lou Paget. "Even though you may have played a course a hundred times, chances are your approach shot rarely lands in the same place on the green."

Which reminds me: I haven't watched Caddyshack in ages.

Fore! ... play, that is.

Now, what was I doing before I got distracted?

Oh yeah—the front nine.

Love is a lot like auto racing. Nobody starts with intention of coming in second place. Adding The RoMANtic's Guide to your bookshelf is one more way to keep you and your honey Racing to Win in the Relationship Race. Every pit crew has more than one good mechanic. If you want to keep your relationship running on all cylinders, reading more than just one good romance/relationship book will surely help keep you and your loved one in Victory Lane.

"Gentlemen, start your engines."

"The Artist Formerly Known as Napoleon."
"Rocker Pat Benatar brought her 'I Won't Go' tour to the Toledo Zoo Amphitheater in Toledo, Ohio, July 23, 2003." 'Cause Spinal Tap opening for that puppet show was all sold out.
"Gump and Gumper."

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Subject: Up the Asana

May 25, 2004

So Madonna's just launched her "Reinvention" tour. And she's clearly been doing her yoga (having spoken positively of Yogananda's Autobiography of a Yogi, for example):

Om, Madonna, Padme, Hmmmmm....

So I'm out on my balcony around 8 pm, enjoying the sunset on a beautiful almost-summer evening in T.O. And out of nowhere, something flies down from above, into the flower bed below my apartment window.

I've been reading a lot of (very depressing) skeptical books lately, debunking everything from faith healing to poltergeists ... to UFOs.

Then, a couple of minutes later, another something flies down, just like the first one.

I didn't see what kind of advanced propulsion system the object was using.

I did get a picture of the alien craft after it landed, though:

That's right: Some idiot was throwing kaiser rolls off of his balcony, above me. Not once, but twice.

It weren't no accident, Betty.

The anal probe—that's what I'm worried about....

Nice buns, though.

Sartre embraced atheism at the age of ten, but his bleak view of existence may have been exacerbated when he was thirty by a hellish drug trip. According to "Two Classic Trips," by Thomas Riedlinger, Sartre persuaded Daniel LaGache, a friend and physician, to inject him with mescaline in 1935. During the trip Sartre was attacked by giant octopuses, apes, and insects. For almost a year afterward, he suffered flashbacks in which monstrous lobsters chased him, and he feared he was losing his mind. The story had a happy ending: According to Riedlinger, Sartre's trip inspired his nightmarish novel Nausea, which was published in 1938 and helped him to win the Nobel Prize in literature twenty-six years later.

—John Horgan, Rational Mysticism

Book of the Day:

The Hooterville Handbook.

Read it with someone you love.

Idea for an inspirational book:

Chicken Soup for the Vegetarian Soul.

Idea for a Shakespearian speech:

Friends, Romans, Vulcans, lend me your ears.

"When in Romulus, do as the Romulans...."

I'll just have a garden salad.

"Not that I loved Caesar any less...."

Idea for a Cheech and Chong reunion album:

High Hopes.

He's got high hopes
He's got high hopes
He's got high-as-a-kite-in-the-sky hopes

"Just say no" to your dreams.