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And the winner of our "Town of the Day" contest? Turkeyfoot, PA.
There's A girl in Turkeyfoot, my friend That I can't wait to meet I love the way she struts her stuff I love her turkey feet Her turkey legs and turkey thighs Her turkey breasts and stuffing The girls in Turkeyfoot are full Of stove-top turkey loving I don't care what she believes Or works at for a living With turkey breasts and turkey thighs I'm prayin' for Thanksgiving
If that's not enough, we have the VeggieTales biblical videos—which, contrary to expectation, are not a pro-vegetarian series, but rather the Good Samaritan acted out in cartoon by an asparagus character, King Nebuchadnezzar as a cucumber, etc.
The Lord is my Cabbage I shall not slaw He maketh me to lie down in green salads He leadeth me beside bottled waters He restoreth my oil (and vinegar) He leadeth me in the paths of TupperWare and I will dwell in the fridge of the Lord forever Amen
What the hell is he wearing? Is that a skirt? And who is Mary J. Blige's fashion advisor—Big Bird?
"Alright, Mr. Looper...." "Every breath you (used to) take."
"Attack of the 50-foot Elvis Costello."
Okay, he's actually playing a ukelele "at the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences annual Musicares 2004 Person of the Year dinner at Sony Studios in Los Angeles."
To my knowledge, "Tiptoe through the Tulips" is the only song that can actually be played on a ukelele, though, so I can only assume that the marriage to Diana Krall is affecting the man's taste in music.
"Whatever happened to peace, love and ukeleles?"
As the [SNL] show's producer, Lorne Michaels, had once offered a sardonic three thousand bucks for the Beatles to regroup before his cameras, George called his bluff by asking for his quarter of the fee [when guesting with Paul Simon]. By coincidence, all four ex-Beatles happened to be in New York the following month. As all enjoyed Saturday Night Live, American cousin of Monty Python, "They decided to rebound on us," revealed its host Chevy Chase, a pal of Eric Idle, "and appear on the show. I never dreamt they'd actually take up our offer." Unfortunately—or fortunately—Lennon's chauffeur drove to the wrong studio, thereby capsizing what would have been, had they kept their nerve, the ultimate practical joke. —Alan Clayson, The Quiet One: A Life of George Harrison
—Alan Clayson, The Quiet One: A Life of George Harrison
Well, if you missed the Super Bowl, you missed:
Janet Jackson's what?
Well, what happened was, Justin and Janet were doing an MTV-sponsored, steamy "bumping and grinding" halftime show song, and toward the end of it, owing to a "wardrobe malfunction," when he ripped at the breastplate (that must be what they call it) of her gladiator suit, well, the "unpredictable" happened, and the world got to see more of Michael's little sister than her mother might have wanted her to show.
Of course, it evidently never occurred to the Boy-Band Wonder to offer his jacket to cover her or anything. He wouldn't have gotten very far in Elizabethan England, that's for sure.
Check this out (below): She's exposed to the world, obviously doesn't want to be, and he's just standing there like an idiot. You'll notice that he's still got the piece he ripped off, in his hand.
I guess, after that "Justified and Stripped" tour with Christina Aguilera, he's starting to take the PR too literally.
For good reason did the good people of Toronto throw water bottles at this doofus during SARS-stock (which I, wisely, did not attend, as half a million or more people converging on any locale, with me as a speck somewhere among them, is not my idea of a good time).
Well, it could have been worse: Timberhead could have ripped off Michael Jackson's surgical facemask during the SARS epidemic, revealing Michael's erotic right nostril to the world and creating some mutant virus that causes deluded pop stars to (allegedly) molest little boys and (allegedly) feed them wine ("Jesus Juice," in Michael-speak) in Pepsi cans.
Moonwalk this, you hair-on-fire, white-glove-wearing, chimp-owning, Never-Neverland, nose-to-the-grindstone-for-so-long-it's-worn-off, Beatles-song-catalogue-and-Elephant-Man-bones collecting freak.
Of course, should SARS ever strike globally again, this is the preferred method of protection:
Or, even if it doesn't strike again, this is still good, n'est ce pas?
